


Check List

by Evil_Little_Dog



Series: Little Things [155]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Community: fma_fic_contest, Gen, Post-Canon, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2096121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/pseuds/Evil_Little_Dog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Edward really hates being in chains. <br/>Disclaimer: If I could make money off of this, I wouldn’t be wondering if I could possibly afford installing central air conditioning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Check List

Bars on the window?

Check.

Dank cell?

Check.

Stinky, possibly moldy, most uncomfortable straw matted on the damp floor? 

Check.

Chains. Can’t forget the stocks and chains. Edward rattled them for good measure, tugging at them to make sure they weren’t loose. 

Nope. They held. 

A faint shadow showed through the barred window on the door, and Edward heard the tumblers in the lock click. He tried to look interested. Instead, he yawned as the man walked through the door. In pomposity, he reminded Edward of that old priest, Leto. That stupid, ‘I know better than you’ smile. The ‘I’m better than you’ stroll. The high-quality clothes, probably the latest fashion. The way a pair of guards took up residence on either side of the open doorway. “So, you’re Edward Eric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.” 

Edward stretched his flesh leg out in front of him. “Your intelligence officers are a few years too late.” What was this guy’s name again? Baldy? No, that was…uh…wasn’t that someone else? Bellam? Bondage? He smirked to himself. Bondage. Heh. 

“Oh, Major Elric, we’re well aware of your exploits. You may think Creta’s a backwards country, but we have intelligence men and women throughout your Amestris. Not to mention Xing and what you call the Eastern Desert. You have made many enemies, Major. There are people who would pay a great deal of money to have you in their custody. Are you even aware of that?” 

Really, what was this asshole’s name? Edward racked his brain for a few seconds, trying to recall it. Maybe it didn’t matter. “Yeah? You don’t think Amestris might want me back?” 

“I think I, and my regency, could earn a great deal of money selling you in auction.” 

Blondel. That was this idiot’s name. “So, you really think you could keep me here, Blondie?” Edward rattled his chains.

“I think the stocks will keep you from using alchemy, and, as for the rest, well.” Blondel smiled, showing such white teeth, Edward was almost blinded, even in the dim lighting of the cell. “There are ways to keep you contained. Besides, you’ll be entertainment for my men.” 

They smiled, too. Those grins were even creepier than Blondel’s. Edward checked them off the list in his mind, too, barely keeping from rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he sighed, “what’s the rest of the story? I mean, how long do you intend to keep me here in chains? Most of the time, they want proof of life, not to mention,” he shrugged, best he could with the stocks and chains, “the captive in decent shape.” Jerking his chin toward the guards, Edward said, “If your friends there try to take a bite out of me, they might find I bite back.” He snapped his teeth together in emphasis. “Then, there’ll be more bruises, maybe a broken bone or two, and I won’t be as pretty for your sale.” 

“It isn’t your beauty anyone wants, Major,” Blondel said. 

Edward snickered, nodding beyond Blondel’s shoulder. “The way that guard’s licking his lips, I think you’re wrong there.” 

“Orab, leave this cell.” Blondel spoke sharply, not even glancing over his shoulder. The guard sneered at Edward, but obeyed. “Now. No one wants your beauty, Major Elric. They want what’s here.” He poked Edward’s temple, hard enough to send a flash of pain through his skull. “You are a premier State Alchemist of Amestris. Prying all of the information out of you, well, you should be in good shape for them to enjoy their work, don’t you think?” 

“Or, maybe you could just forget this whole stupid idea.” He lounged back against the wall. “Because it’s just going to blow up in your face. You, and your buddies here, your – what’d you call it? Regency? It’s going to fall.”

Blondel curled his lip. “You’re a fool if you believe that, Major.” 

“Remember,” Edward said, “I gave you warning.” 

Laughing, Blondel swept out of the cell, his guard following close behind. 

Maniacal laugh, check. 

Edward waited a few minutes, listening closely to make sure they really had walked off, then leaned his head against the wall. “Did you get that, Heinkel?” 

“Yeah, kid, even recorded it. You ready to get out of there?” 

“Hell, yes.” Almost before he finished talking, a door appeared in the wall – Alphonse’s alchemy saving his ass, again. “Wanna let me out of these?” He wagged his arms at his brother, Heinkel, and Darius. 

“I don’t know,” Alphonse said, rubbing his chin, “Winry might like your latest fashion statement.” 

Edward gnashed his teeth at Alphonse. “Don’t give her any fucking ideas.” That’s all he’d need, considering his wife already had a big enough metal kink. Cuffs and chains were not going to be his latest accessory, no matter how bad ass they could be. 

Alphonse grinned, helping Edward out of the cell. Irritated older brother? 

Check. 


End file.
